It’s London Fashion Week. What is London Fashion Week? No idea, to be honest. But we asked around and it turns out it’s a massive clothing trade show and fashion showcase held in our fine city. It ranks alongside New York, Milan, and Paris as one of the world’s ‘Big Four’ fashion weeks, featuring big names, runway shows and designer exclusives, all with lashings of watercress and sparkling water. How lovely.
Lovely, that is, if you’re a lover of mad-looking, over-priced clobber presented at events you can’t get into and populated by pouting stick-insects. What of the other London? The real London. South London, perhaps, where knife pleats, darts and loafers have very different meanings.
We tricked Deserter founders Dulwich Raider and Dirty South into coming to the pub and talking us through their respective outfits; the ensembles of the ordinary shirking man.
Headwear
The Raider wears a broad brimmed trilby-style hat – in white, of all colours – that his wife found in the street and thought might suit him.
Raider: ‘She brought it home and showed it to me. I said, “Only a cunt would wear a hat like that,” and she said, “Exactly”.
He’s never looked back.
Shirts
Dirty South sports a blue short-sleeved cotton shirt with the sewn-on name tag for a man named Ken.
Des: How come you have someone else’s name on your shirt?
Dirty South: Where I come from, if you kill a man, you take his shirt.
Des: Where do you come from?
Dirty South: Sidcup
The Dirty one also claims that the shirt may come in useful on the day that the Grim Reaper comes looking for him.
Dirty South: ‘Ken?’ he’ll say, looking confused, “I’m sorry I was looking for Vinny.” And I’ll smile and ask if I can take a message.
The Raider, meanwhile, wears the classic Deserter logo tee.
Dulwich Raider: I saw that Rachel Stevens wearing one and I simply had to get the look.
You too can get the look from the Deserter merch site for about 20 nicker. Three pounds from every sale is guaranteed to be spent supporting local hostelries.
Jacket
Dirty South also carries, with deep irony, a green jacket from Le Laboureur, the French workwear brand. For if there is anything Le Raison is not, it’s un laboureur.
Dirty South: Though laboureur means ‘ploughman’ so it always makes me think it’s time for lunch, which is nice.
Trews
Are you still carrying around all your little things in a fancy backpack? Well, fucking grow up. The only proper way to carry around your bits is cargo trousers, argues the Raider.
Dulwich Raider: No one should be a slave to the bag. Stick everything in the signature side-pockets and you remain a free man. Papers, cash, batteries… Anything. I had a printer in there once.
Meanwhile Dirty South’s United Overalls Selvedge denim jeans are made in London and come with free repairs for life, which is handy given his lifestyle and potential expansion.
Footwear
Dirty South concludes his worker cosplay theme with a pair of logging boots from Redwing and keeps it real with socks from the middle of Lidl.
On the other foot, the Raider is unlikely to entertain the sock until October at the earliest, which means that for him, airy Birkenstock sandals are the order of the day. But these are not ordinary sandals, he is at pains to point out, these are that oxymoronic classic, ‘action sandals’, which feature a backstrap across the heel for complete surefooted confidence.
Dulwich Raider: Absolutely fucking crucial when you need to Lime it to the pub for last orders or you’re running away from your dealer. If you don’t have a backstrap you’re basically in flip-flops, like you’re in North London or something.
Accessories
Appropriately enough, given how long he’s been around, the Raider wears a watch made by Fossil.
Dulwich Raider: The glass is cracked, the ‘2’ of the ‘12’ has fallen off, but I keep it because 13 years ago I bought a lifetime battery for it from Timpson’s.
Meanwhile, in a remarkable flourish, around Dirty South’s Gregory is a red neckerchief, or possibly tea towel, by Harry Styles’ tattooist, Liam Sparkes. Unfortunately he is unable to get the ink legend to adorn his skin with body art as he’s allergic to pain. The kerchief didn’t last long, though, as it turns out he’s also allergic to mild chafing.
Finally, Dirty South holds a pint of CBD Pale from skater brew crew, Hop King, while the Raider wields a pint of Anspach & Hobday’s sublime London Black.
Raider: It’s the perfect choice for Fashion Week. I don’t know how good your French is but ‘Prêt-a-porter‘ means ‘Ready for porter’.
Cheers, fashionistas!
Photo credit: main image and final image by Sam Beahan
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